| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|10:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  artistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the mamas and the papas | ] |
Venting...
This livejournal has definetley beeen shunned for awhile and i am pretty sure that when I use to be on it all the time making posts I at least had something to vent to.
Here goes nothing.
Lately I dont exist but am always aroound and thats not cool.
I still hate the parental situation.
Friends are starting to become more and more clear to me.
I dont trust anyone except for a select few.
If i love you... you know it.
I am looking for fun..finding it in alll the wrong places is my style.
I am back into my drawing and painting...somehow my muse came back.
I think that boyz are fun.
I think that girls(excluding my close friends) are scum and talk shit toooo much.
work still sucks.
christmas is quickly approaching.
I am poooooooooooooooooooooooooor.
I wanna go get crunk. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 10th, 2006|12:43 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | thevillainsofverona | ] |
We are naive we are ignorant.we are oblivious and celebrant,we are tainted anticipated, arrogant and brillaint.
Go listen to good music. People. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|12:35 am] |
I neeed something.
Something is missing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2006|01:55 pm] |
Me and liz just left tonys.
Hoky shit why |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|05:58 pm] |
So I am looking out of my windows and probably getting overrrrr excited about the fact that not only is it gonna rain but it is probably gonnna pour.
I love the rain.
It is probably one of the only things I truly truly truly adoreeeeeeee in life.
I especially love how inspired I am on rainy days.
So right now I am rereading a book that I read threee years ago. It is called many lives many masters. SOooooo good.
This book truly influenced my ideas of life and the after life. So now I am rereading it cause it is soooo amazing.
Living in my apartment can easily be described as awesome and not productive. Hahaha. We should be doing so much but when I am home I need to rest due to the fact that I don't restt enough at all.
I am a college student now and all I keeep getting from people is.... "You are 18!!! Thats it!!! You look and act so much older." I don't think that this is fact. Then again a person is never a good judge of themselves.
I am very excited about a lot of shows coming up. Veryyyyyyyy. I alsoo I am starting to fall back into my art. I seriously have gone through a little dry spell with no muse. It was rough because art is my sanity and since my life can easily be described as insane I definetly need my art.
I also would like the world to know that I have the best friends in world. I have kinda been going through some insanely rough times lately and just the fact that they are there is enough for me. Truly amazing people.
I have also met some new people lately. And usually I put up a hugeee block.Like I don't let them in as much always close but never close enough. But I don't knoww they seem pretty awesome so only future lj posts can tell.lol.
Alsooooo I want people to pick up the new mars volta record. It is amazing. I know you may think that I am being biast but truly the cd is amazing. I love them.
I miss having a crush. I want to be in love and snuggle. Hahaa okay I take the love part back but I wanna be In "like". I wanna be able to not be soo serious and have fun. Snuggle and watch movies and stuff and then party with friends and not feel weird. I think that this is to much to ask of life because well there is a lot that is to much to ask of life.
I am gonna update again later I am too tired to continue |
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| Maybe Maybe Maybe Maybe |
[Aug. 9th, 2006|11:41 pm] |
So I moved into my apartment and though the walls are just primed and not colored due to heat exhaustion and pure exhaustion, and our stairwell leading up is hard core needing some work., and we did not bring our bed frames so we are sleeping like refugees.... I have never been so excited to live anywhere ever!!! I love my apt. I love that it has not been empty since I moved in... people everyday.
That's how I like.
I have also come to the realization that people are fake and place a lot of judgement on others. Life is what it is.
I am not perfect.
I am not a goody good girl.
I am just me.
Take it or leave it.
I am addicted to skittles and quixotic.
I am addicted to rad ass girlfriends who make you feel better than you have been in awhile.
I like dino sharks.
I like the hush sound and me getting to see my preetty lil lady soon.
I like saturday and the plans go through.
I am proud of that band.
I am shocked at some people.
And I love emily and casssandrama. |
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| hdhfhf. |
[Jul. 22nd, 2006|11:51 pm] |
I am finding myself the best rock and crawling under it.
Ohhh and I move out by the end of the week |
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| its raining so hard outside and in. |
[Jul. 20th, 2006|10:16 am] |
That tree at the end of the block looks like it is about to be uprooted. I have felt the car I am in shake a good two times and its kinda scary....but still the rain is the best part of my day bye far. Its so easy to seeeee the beauty in the rain and ignore anything that its damaging....at least it is easier then listening to myu parents loud mouths.
Today my day said I hurt him unbelievably.Today my dad said I can't even begin to imagine what he feels and how bad I treat him. He obviously hasn't been really present the past 18 years... he obviosly hasn't seen me in my pain. He obviously didn't listen to me cry myself to sleep.
My mother will defend him to the ends of the earth. He offends her and she offends me. Its my fault.
How can a man soo social, amazing,and successful be so ignorant of his family.
I am gonna give up.
I am moving out august 1st and my relationship with my parents probably won't be better.
Sad.
Depressing.
Heartbreaking.
Totally reality.
Now I am outside of my doctors office. Fake smiles. Phrases something like" oh no dr. I am totally fineee".
Bogus=fake.
Sylvia plath.
"We shall by morning inherit the earth our foot is in the door"
Hopefully. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2006|08:12 am] |
you are funny.
sooo fucking funny |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 4th, 2006|10:39 pm] |
worst month ever.
I'll update when it ends or when I realizethat I have to give in an finally give up.
Ohh Happy Fourth.
My Birthday is on Thursday.
shitfaced. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2006|11:21 am] |
I think that in the midst of my pain, sorrow, and even happiness I couldn't bare it alone, life that is, so I created you. All of you.
Now I live here. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|11:02 pm] |
work work work.
wax on radio on tuesday.
sometimes i cry myself to sleep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2006|11:59 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | villains of veronaaaaaaaaaaaaaa♥ | ] |
The Hush Sound did absolutley amazing... it was surreal.
I love my darlings so much and no words can describe how incredibly proud of them I am.
I am.
This Is Me Smiling....amazing.
friends...............totally amazing.
Someday soon. |
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| summer. |
[May. 30th, 2006|01:08 am] |
| [ | music |
| | angels in airwaves. | ] |
I went to the park....it has beeen awhile since I just laid out in the sun...especially with people I love.
True beauty sometimes, I think, can only be found in nature.
It is the only beauty that lacks vanity and the only beauty that has the ability to be humble and still have dignity and pride.
Envy.
I loved it!!!
♥
It gives me hope.I am not sure what in though. |
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| heycomebacktome. |
[May. 27th, 2006|01:34 pm] |
wax on radio did amazing.[ congratulations to my signed boys!! I am so incredibly proud]
I got to hang with some exceptionally awesome people and i love hugs.
It was most definetly hott as balls there though and the heat made me feel all musty. yucky poo.
I want to reevaluate my life but I dont think I have the patience. I think to much.
I am going to stop writting in this stream of conciousness because welllll ....
I am done.
Where we went wrong....that song is the theme song of my life...at least for today.
we set the wrong course and headed due north. that's where we went wrong.
♥
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2006|06:40 pm] |
i stepped into the future.
freaky.bye past.
he is vain and she is scared. this may never work.
♥
see you guys at wax on radio and if you are not there be sad cause it's gonna be off the change.
also be jealous because i have the new hush sound CD and it fucking owns!! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2006|06:01 pm] |
I dont have pictures right now from friday night but just KNOW that it was amazning and i love my best friend and thosee amazing guys! wow. sooo fun.the party didnt stop. that garage holds the key to my heart...and cherry hookah.
Saturday..Fiesta.
Life is still busy... and as of this weekend.. i have no reason to feel beautiful.
I think i am an ugly person who suffers from an extreme form of body dismorphic disorder.
save me.
♥ |
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| Towatchthesewoodsfillupwithsnow. |
[May. 18th, 2006|07:22 pm] |
i want to learn soo much.
my biggest fear is that i will die before i learn everything[ which unfortunatley is a given]
read robert frost's "stopping by woods on a snowy evening"
And miles to go before i sleep.
And miles to go before i sleep.
wow.
Ohh and some people need to start listening to the kind of music that is good. |
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| cut away cut away..ohh at the drive in. |
[May. 13th, 2006|03:34 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | self pity. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | at the drive-in | ] |
In spite of the title, there is no shame here. If you cause physical harm to your body in order to deal with overwhelming feelings, know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's likely that you're keeping yourself alive and maintaining psychological integrity with the only tool you have right now. It's a crude and ultimately self-destructive tool, but it works; you get relief from the overwhelming pain/fear/anxiety in your life. The prospect of giving it up may be unthinkable, which makes sense; you may not realize that self-harm isn't the only or even best coping method around.....
Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.
I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.
Then the almost unnameable lust returns.
--Anne Sexton
so tonight was prom.
worthless. |
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